“Together apart” or holidays spent on FaceTime

Essay - Kadriia Sungatullina

Holidays often evoke images of family gatherings, shared meals, and nostalgic traditions. But what happens when distance separates you from your loved ones? In this essay, I reflect on the bittersweet experience of celebrating abroad and how video calls have become a lifeline for staying connected, offering comfort in moments of longing.

Image: Kadriia Sungatullina / PRESSET.

Last year, I wrote an article about doomscrolling and social media detox at home for Presset’s January edition, Renselse. The topic of this year’s edition, however, made me think about something that touches my heart as an icicle. Holidays and winter are often associated with time spent with your family or loved ones—watching favorite nostalgic movies, prepping Christmas dinner together, exchanging presents, and so on. But being far away from your family during the holidays is an especially bitter feeling. It does not fade, even after years spent abroad. Nonetheless, the one thing that makes this period feel a little better is video calls on FaceTime or other messenger apps. Thankfully, we now have the possibility of seeing our dear ones, hearing their voices, and even sitting at the Christmas table “together.”

Photo: Cristina Glebova / Unsplash

Only a couple of decades ago, people who moved abroad did not have access to this kind of relief. I always think of that when I feel sad and frustrated about spending New Year’s Eve “on the phone” with my family when the chimes strike 12 o'clock on January 1st. I cannot imagine a scenario where even this technology wouldn’t be available.

This New Year’s Eve was spent with several FaceTime calls to each and every member of my family, wishing them all the best and telling them how much I miss them. I also expressed my hope that I’ll visit them soon and finally be able to hug them. Sometimes, I wonder if video call technology will evolve to the point where we could even touch each other or share our Christmas dishes. It might seem surreal now, but who knows? Maybe someone reading this essay fifty years from now will laugh—either because it has come true and become part of daily life or because it remains an outlandish fantasy. In any case, it’s exciting to imagine how video calls could evolve in the future.

Apart from my wild expectations of what FaceTime might look like in the years to come, I am deeply thankful for what it already offers. It has certainly made the hard times of being abroad more bearable for me and, I imagine, for many others who depend on FaceTime to stay connected to their loved ones. For me, it has even become a sort of lifeline, allowing me to call friends or family whenever I miss them, with the hope and expectation that they’ll be available.

FaceTime as a double-edged sword

In the end, technology like FaceTime is a double-edged sword: it bridges the gap between loved ones, yet it reminds us of the distance that separates us. Still, I prefer to focus on the silver lining—it allows us to share moments that would otherwise be impossible. Whether it's a smile, a laugh, or simply the comfort of seeing someone’s face on a cold winter night, these small connections remind us of the warmth waiting on the other side of the screen.

So, as I sit here, reflecting on yet another holiday spent “together apart”, I’m filled with gratitude for what we have now, even as I dream of what might come. Perhaps one day, technology will make these moments feel even more real, but until then, I’ll cherish the ability to say “I miss you” and hear “I miss you too” in return. For now, that’s enough to keep the chill of distance away.